What I am meant to be doing with my life?

Are you feeling blah and not sure why or what to do?

For the past month, I have been feeling blah. I thought maybe I was feeling this way because I was exhausted and winter was here, which I am not a fan of. We went on a beautiful trip in February to Antigua. It was beautiful and relaxing, but when I came back I went right back to feeling blah. I thought it was because I didn’t like the way I looked, so I got a haircut, which did help😊 (this is not my new hair, but rather how I feel)

However, when I wake up to go to work that’s when I feel it the most. I feel a heavy heart. I’m angry and frustrated because I have not found work that makes me happy that I can do it daily.  Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for having a job, but that’s just it…A JOB. I feel like I am meant to be doing something else, but what else that is I don’t know.

I was given many opportunities to try new positions with government department. I was a Wellness coordinator and I liked it, minus a few events that made me feel nauseous, but it wasn’t permanent, and I was looking for better pay and working in a team. The one thing I didn’t like was working alone. While I dealt with people, I worked alone. I had no one to go for coffee with, to brainstorm ideas off of, except for the DG, which is not what I wanted to do. I truly believed in the workshops and I loved being at these events because I could see how it helped, but it wasn’t permanent.

Then there was the Awards Coordinator, which was a good position too, and very busy, but that one had way too much isolation for me. This job was mostly about contracts and promoting events, which was fun, but it was not for me. The most painful part about that job was writing speeches. I didn’t have the experience they needed and felt so incompetent and some of the people I worked with helped me feel that way too. This was a big part of the job and I didn’t know it would be when I took on the task. Well, I had nightmares about people getting upset with me because the speech was awful. So I told my boss that I no longer wanted the job and wish to go back to my old job because…I hated it. That was not a way I wanted to feel every day, hating to wake up, crying and not feeling supported.

So now I am at a job that is not challenging, and the people that come to see you are stressed because they are doing tests. I coordinate second language testing for employees. I am a positive person and feel it when people are stressed, so this job takes its toll on my health. I was also working in a separate office and that didn’t help with the emotions. I felt isolation. However, we now have everyone back on the team and it’s much better, and I am back in my old office where there are fun people who like their jobs.

So, the question I am asking myself is “what am I meant to be doing with my life?” well, I don’t know the answer yet, but I do know what I DON’T want to be doing which is working in a stressful or negative environment; being in isolation; doing repetitive work where I don’t get to voice my opinion; not working in a team; having no one to work with on a team; working in an area where people don’t support you or help you; working crazy hours; not being able to take a break and have someone watch the hours you work. That one I hate the most! I am not paid by hour, I am paid to get the job done!

So, what’s my next plan of action? I am going to find something else in another government department. I am going to send out my resume as suggested by my awesome friend Carol, to see if I can deploy to another department where they have opportunities and…do things I value like make the world or the city a better place.

If you know of a department that is looking for someone who likes technical, likes to deal with people, likes training and writing instructional guides, can juggle multiple things, and is willing to learn new skills, please pass along their name to me and I will GLADLY contact them. While I am currently a CR-04, I have been acting in many roles as an AS-03.

Now it’s your turn, if you’re feeling blah, look at why and come up with a small step as to what you can do to change it. Maybe you just need a day off to watch TV all day..DO IT! Maybe your body is sore and need to get a massage, but the hours are during work…DO IT! Maybe you’re like me and need a change of career, write down what you don’t like and then what you DO like and look for work that has those components and then, start making 1 call or email a day. Baby steps is for me the only way to go.

If you have other ways to help with the blah’s, please share in the comments below.

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Goal #3 – Make $1,000 a month with my business

Goal #3 – Make $1,000 a month with my business

So you might be asking, “Tina, how are you going to make $1,000 a month with a blog”? That’s a very good question.  The truth is I don’t know if I will make $1k a month with my blog, but I am sure going to try because I love writing my stories about my experiments or experiences. Speaking of which, some of you know but for those who don’t I wrote a book in 2014 about renting your cottage out and making a profit. It was a self published and I am super proud of it, thanks to my old friend Katrina Moy who helped me rewrite it over 90 TIMES! Well, it finally paid off. I received a check from Amazon for……$107.00! I couldn’t believe it. I finally got paid for all that effort.

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Are they new years resolution or goals?

2017 is fast approaching and I plan to write WAYYYYY more often, but…not post them all. After all, I have to keep you entertained and don’t want you to get sick of me. I have been reading up on how to become a better writer and one of the ways is to…just write. So, that’s what I’m doing, but I want to write about things that interest me like setting goals. Every year I try to set goals that are realistic, but sometimes I mess up, like the one I just tried to do. I set out to not drink alcohol for 7 days. Well, I tried and…lasted 2 days. I like the taste of a good beer. However, I have stopped drinking red wine, which my Man doesn’t believe. He thinks it’s a phase, but I don’t think it is. I actually don’t crave it like I use to when I would start to cook. It’s only been 2 weeks, but still. that’s huge because I would drink a glass or 2 with dinner every other night. So, my new year is off to a good start.

So, this is the time to start setting new goals, but also remembering and celebrating the ones I reached from last year.  Here’s a link to my bucket list of what I said I would do before I die, so in 2016 this is what I actually accomplished.

I decided to set small goals for 2017 and here they are.

1) Convince the man to take another trip south in February
2) Organize more fun with friends
3) have my business make $1,000+ a month
4) go on 1 date a week with my man = 52 dates
5) exercise a minimum of 3 days a week
6) read 1 new book every 2 months (that one might be tough)
6) volunteer for a fun charity that supports local women business or the Boys and Girls Club
7) De-clutter my space i.e. clean up my office files, get rid of clothes and shoes I no longer wear (so, if you want some stuff, text me)
8) decorate my home for under $500, includes a new couch:)
9) Do at least 3 things on my bucket list http://lafemmeottawa.com/i-have-120-things-on-my-bucket-li…/
10) and…love myself no matter what happens this year.

What are your goals for 2017?

Here’s to a wonderful 2017!

 

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Discover my life purpose – Day 2 – right idea, wrong tool

OK, it’s not day 2, because I haven’t written daily about this, but it’s Day 2 with regards to my project of finding what I’m meant to do with my career and I think I have figured it out.

I have been working on a book about my life and my experiences because that’s what I thought I was meant to do i.e. to write a book about my life story and speak about it at events. The book was going to be used as a giveaway at speaking events.

While I was trying to write the book, I was trying to write it the way that the experts were telling me, but I just couldn’t get it. I was struggling with it and procrastinating. My book idea just didn’t fit the way they suggested to write it. I wanted to write my stories in more of a theme of sections like career, relationship, family, money, etc. I had all the stories, I just couldn’t figure out how to put it in the format that they suggested. One suggested put it in a “how to”, but would have to rewrite the stories to fit the “how to” model. Another suggested doing research and having other information from others in my book, but that too felt wrong for what I was trying to do.

So, when it came time to start putting the book together, the experts said to start with the table of contents, but I had all my stories written out already. How was I going to work backwards? The book had to be built around a theme of solving a problem, but I had so many problems of my own that I just wanted to share them with others in the hopes they would laugh, cry or maybe use what they learned to improve their lives. Well, when I did come up with a theme, I would ask a few friends what they thought and before they could tell me, I rewrote another table of content, so i started working on those story idea, but then another theme came to mind and I started on that one, but I wasn’t able to come up with new stories for any of the table of contents because, for me, they felt forced. I wasn’t enjoying the process of writing anymore. I was blocked. I was talking with a friend and she helped me to see that maybe it’s not a book I’m meant to write, but rather a blog about all my experiences, and maybe later, a book might come of it, but for now just to write and enjoy it. She was right. I loved just writing about the experience and not about putting it into book format to meet someone else’s needs. I needed to do this for me first, and that’s when it finally clicked. When I got in my car after leaving work, I cried because it felt like I finally new what I was meant to do. No more struggling to figure it out.

So what am I meant to be doing?

I’m meant to share things with people from my life experiences, but what tool should I be using, that’s what I’ve been struggling with. Well, I think I got it! I’m a BLOGGER. I even love the sound of the title. I’m meant to write, but not in a book. I’m going to write my stories in my blog. This feels right and…I have fun doing it.

So, what will I write about?  

OMG, where do I start. I love to write about my cooking adventures thanks to Pinterest, dates I go on with my man and friends, careers I’ve tried or rather jobs I’ve tried and quit, businesses I’ve had and closed or failed at, deals I find and what I really thought of the deal, and the scary stuff about my past and what I did to overcome them, and so much more.  I am going to share real life experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly., relationships I gave up on, friends that come and go, family or lack there of, and my health which includes all the above, but also my mind and body, which I have abused a wee bit. Hey, I never said I was perfect. I’m a work in progress.

So, what’s my blog? My name is Tina Lalonde. I’m the owner of the blog La Femme Ottawa where I write I open up honestly about what I’ve learned about myself and life experiences. This is going to be real and raw. I’m scared to write about personal stuff, but I also know that this feels right. If it can help someone else from making the same mistakes, then it’ll be worth it. If you’re going to read it and comment, all I ask is that you be gentle with your comments. This is not a place for people who are not willing to put themselves out there. If you have good suggestions, I will gladly listen, but if you’re only trying to bring me down, I have one word for you..DELETE!

Thank you and please share with those you think will enjoy reading it.

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Discover my lifes purpose – Day 1

OK, so it’s Day 1, November 19, 2016 and I found a woman online who’s name is Suzanne Adam and she has a few questions that I need to ask myself to help me find my life’s purpose.Once I asked the questions, I am to sit quietly and ask my higher self to give me an answer in a way that would KNOCK me on the head so that I would completely understand. That’s the problem right now. My higher self is the problem, or so I think. My head is in the way!

Here are the questions:

1. What do I love to do?

2. What brings me joy?

3. What comes naturally and easy to me?

4. What is my life purpose?

 

OK, so lets see what my higher self answers.

Question #1 – What do I love to do?

Eat, drink, travel down south, help people find answers to their problems, hang out with fun friends, sit in a hot tub, play volleyball, make my man happy.

Question #2 – What brings me joy?

All the things I said above.

Question #3 – What comes naturally and easy to me?

finding information online, talking to strangers, writing about whatever I want.

Question #4 – What is my life purpose?

Helllooooo? That’s what I was hoping you would answer. I DON’T KNOW! OK, so those questions didn’t work. However, she sent me a meditation audio. I’m going to try it and let you know how it goes.

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What’s my life purpose?

What’s my f…ing life purpose

Are you trying to figure out what you want to do with your life?
Do you constantly hear the word “purpose”.  That word frustrates me because I DON’T KNOW WHAT MINE IS!life-purpose

I see people going to work who are happy and seem to love what they do. I have friends and colleagues I work with who love their jobs. Why is it that they found their calling, but I haven’t found mine yet? Why? Well, I’m about to embark on a journey to figure out what MY life’s purpose is and hopefully within the next year.

I found this great picture from musingsofanearthangel.com that caught my attention. I am going to read everything I can, attend workshops, write test to learn about my skills and abilities, talk to career coach, learn about law of attraction, self development, go to a psychic, see a numerologist. What ever I can get my hands on to bring me closer to my purpose.

If you have suggestions, please send them my way and depending how much they cost, I will check it out. However, if you want to trade services, email me at lafemmeottawa@gmail.com.

And lets get started on the journey…

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