Don’t be afraid to close the door!
Has this ever happened to you. You’ve been applying for jobs, any jobs in fact. As long as it’s higher than what you are doing right now. Well, that was me. I had been applying to all these AS-02 or As-03 in the government. I got 5 REJECTION letters in 2 months! Not a very good feeling. They said I didn’t meet the requirements and what I said to myself “what the f….are you kidding me!!! I am OVER QUALIFIED!” There were some jobs that I really really wanted, but because I didn’t fill out the details the way they wanted it, I got screened out. I was getting depressed because I KNEW I was skilled and could do any of the jobs I had applied to, but why was it that I was not being considered. So, my ego was taking a beating. I was starting to feel not good enough. I started thinking maybe I should just be grateful for the job I had, which I was, but I knew I was meant to do something more, better and make a difference.
Well, one day I got a call from one of departments that I had applied to over a year ago asking me if I was still interested. Are you kidding? Of course I was still interested, which I told them YES. They had a position working for a top senior person and that I would be one of the assistance, taking care of paper work, travel claims, greeting people as they come to meet my boss. The job didn’t sound too exciting, but it was a permanent and higher then where I was.
They asked to meet me 2 times. One was with HR and the other one would be with the team I would be working with. It seemed like they were going to choose me, but I wasn’t sure I really wanted it. I was feeling like this was not the job for me. It was like my soul was crying or the child within me saying “please don’t make me go. I don’t want to”. But I needed to consider this job because I wanted to get a higher paying job. It’s not like it was going to be forever. I would settle into the job and then start looking for another one where I could simply deploy over, but my gut kept saying “no, please don’t go”.
The night after the last interview I had a bad dream about people trying to change me and criticize me and my work. So, when I got to work the next day, I was exhausted and my body was angry because of that dream.
A friend came to see me and was happy and telling me about her new business adventure, but my head was in a protective mode and told her to stop and think about what she was doing. She was talking about people coming to see her who lived in the East end and her business was completely in the west dend. Who’s going to want to travel from one end of the city to the other? She was surprised at my response and kindly said “thank you, I hear you, but my people will come”. I was surprised, but also happy she didn’t listen to me. I was in a bad headspace where I couldn’t offer positive support. I was the one in need of support, but didn’t ask for it. I just dumped my poopoo on her happy mojo that day. Well, she’s an amazing friend and saw through me and helped me see that I was burned out again and I needed to make some time for fun in my life. She also said “would you settle for a relationship now at this stage in your life? I replied Noooo! So, why would you settle for a job?” She said take your own advice”. OMG, she was sooooo right. I was so desperate to find a new job that I was willing to take anything. The job I have right now is not bad at all. So, I would be going to a different environment but still having the same problem. I needed to be in a creative environment.
After that talk with her, I went for a walk to think about what she said. I treated myself to a few dark truffles and a beverage which was very yummy and funJ. I decided I was going to decline the job, even before they could offer it to me. After I made that decision I felt so much better. I know I said I want a higher position, but not at the expense of my happiness. I’ve done it too many times.
My soul cried out or whispered as Christine would say and…I finally heard it.
If you’re going through something similar and you’re not sure what to do, here’s what I would do. If you really want the job, ask for help filling out a job application with someone who works in HR or contact the manager of that position to see what they are looking for. You can also ask for a job description. However, if you get screened out from an application, make sure when you get the email rejection letter to ask for a follow up to find out what you were screened out for. You never know. They may have misread something and…you could be screened back in. And finally, DO NOT take a job you know you’re not going to like, just to get ahead. You will wake up every morning hating it. I know, because I did it. However, thanks to a dear friend who kicked me in the butt and reminded me to take my own advice, I am not taking the job I was offered. I am grateful for the job I have right now and I BELIEVE the right one is coming, I just need to be a bit more patient.
Oh and did I mention that when I got back from the walk, I got an email for a job that I DID want and was screened in. When I decided to say no, the other opportunity could come in.
When one door closes, another WILL open. You just have to be willing to close the door to the previous one first!
Here’s to your success.